I strike off "Writing Testimonials" from my TODO list...

I really have to acknowledge the fact that nothing inspires me to blog more than seeing my dumb friends chopping off the very branch of the tree called life that too when they are sitting on the same.
All my esteemed coterie of friends are having the "Daru party" and they are all bragging about the wonders they accomplished in iiit before leaving it.
In all this hulla hoo… I too have something to celebrate in my boring sober way and colourless life style… I was really planning to write testimonials for EVERYBODY for quite some time now. I was very close in achieving this feat but was a bit late at that time before our farewell party and by the time i tried to start writing the testimonials, i came to know that all the cd's were already written :(.
But now, i seem to accomplished that long overdue objective of mine. The timing of this feat couldnt have been any better. I have finished writing the testimonials on the very auspicious occasion of the departure of many a big wigs (remaining from the already dwindling population of what was once known as the gdit2k1 ) from the campus to the yore.
You can check out the testimonials written by me at our alumni page http://172.16.16.85/alumni . It isnt a mean achievement by the way fellows. It took me almost 5 hours to complete. You see a batch strength of 97 is not such small number especially when u have to write about all the characters.
Wow, it is already 6 in the morning. Let me go and check if everything is fine with the “Grown Up” gang and help them to their rooms in their sorry, pitiful state which definitely as they argue isnt the effect of the drinks because they are of the opinion that they are totally immune to the effects of the alcoholic beverages.... nice way to prove their point but who will explain them from the 3rd person perspective?
Well checked them out and one person is really OUT and seems to have fainted of whatever ppl do when they are full. Going by his size he seemed to be leaking off the poor 6foot bed and also covered quite a substantial amount of bed (maybe 3/4th) in the thickness. Really dont know who it is as there is a strictly no entry for Sober people who will make the "D-Company" realise what they are missing, health wise i.e.
Also, our system administrator guy just walked past my room to go to the place where u go after consuming huge quantities of liquid (hope it is the same for hard/soft/water or anything in liquid form). He seemed to be quite subdued and i cant say whether it is aura of a saint or a person who just experienced the "Big-O" (if you know what i mean). He seems to be okay right now, maybe the effect will be felt after certain time interval or whatever...
So, the moral of the story is, it has been a real great night for "constructive" work, another fruitful night out and unlike some other people (:smirk:) my job has really "enriched" (seriously!!)the history book (of our now, slowly dismembering batch) known as our alumni page and it for all to see and be amazed and be inspired by the hardwork of the gdit2k1's truely "sober" guy and really hardworking one at that ;)

[Will upload the pics as soon as i get them will be a nice reminder :)]

Hum Ghar kyon jaate hai?? Aur gaye to gaye, waapas kyun aate hai??

Picture this… in not so distant past:
~ 5 years back in a Junior college where I studied ~
Moi (To the the non-French, it is “me” from a phoren angle): Do a wheely on my bike (which is the bestest bike money can buy in the present world economy) and park it in the special place reserved for my bike. My friends, all drooling over it.
Genious Friend (in short GF hhahaha got u there haan… there are other abbreviations for GF too ;) ) : "Hi Imran good morning. How was your ride to the college?"
Moi: "Ya, there were some Hayabusas and XJRs blocking my way on the road, had to slow down my bike a couple of times. Those dimwits don’t know that you have to stick on the left most side of the road if you are driving on slow vehicles. Where is the world heading to (with great regret and exasperation in my voice)?"
GF: "Yes, it is really a pity man. I really understand your pain. I will be sooo lucky if I have a bike like you and god I will kill someone if they try to block my way on that dream machine of yours. It is the best bike you can ever get. You sure would have done some really good deeds in your previous life."
Moi: “Come on.” “Stay away from my bike even in your dreams you jerk. You are degrading my bike’s brand value out of your day dreaming. You are leaving all sorts of finger prints on the chasis even in your dreams you moron… shoo shoo…”(GF snaps out of his dream) “So whats new?”
GF: “My lord, studied your critic about why Einstein was such a jack ass who didn’t see the most elementary things in his theories. I did some problems using Einstein’s equation and found some of them gave correct answers. But according to you that shouldn’t have happened” (feeling awkward for finding an anomaly in my otherwise impeccable logic).
Moi: (with the expression of being stricken by a sudden flash of obvious.. like, like when someone concludes that Ganguly is not fit to play in the Indian side) “My dear friend, how many times shall I tell you that you are supposed to take the space time continuum to be actually CURVED… Get out of my site and study harder if you want to pass.”

~ 7 years back in a school where I studied ~
GFs: “Hello Imran” in chorus.
Moi: “Hello everybody”. “Nice day for assimilating knowledge so that we can further our career goals as rocket scientists and future inventors and Intellectual Capital of the world.”
GFs: “Come on Imran”, “we worked the whole day yesterday trying to solve the complex heuristics which are the very basic for time travel.”
Moi: “What??” “You did that the whole day yesterday? When will you people learn? You should have come to me. Now use the time machine invented by me yesterday and go back in time to yesterday and do something more constructive and complex like understanding the psychology of our Indian cricket team under pressure.”
GFs: Walk to the sparkling “Time Machine” very dejected and ashamed of themselves for letting me down. This “Time Machine” is inside a classroom where ironically Mr. Naidu is taking a class very excitedly, because, when he teaches normally time stops, but when he gets excited the time actually backtracks so as to nullify his effect on the poor souls inside or even in it’s vicinity.

Observations from "Picture this... in not so distant past":

So, the point I want to make here is, If you look closely to the connotation of my "normal" friends. There was definitely no strings even distantly related to “Abe Imran, tu ghar se kab aaya!!!???!!!” expression when they met me, even though I used to ACTUALLY come from my house daily, as I used to study in a day scholars school and college… (shocked as to draw parallels from the above stories and my conclusions and the point I made? Come on guys, I expect your compilers to compile faster for you to stay abreast)

~ Current Trends ~
I get up on a nice Friday morning and go to the end of the wing to brush my teeth. My pesky wing mates “Abe Imran!! Tu ghar se kab aaya??” (with an expression which will put Eve to shame when she opened the Pandora’s box and released all the evils in the world).
Moi: (very diplomatically) "Last SUNDAY evening."
I finish brushing, try to go for a morning (or afternoon depending on the amount of gaming hours last night) walk across the wing. Pesky Ex-wingmates (with a similar expression as that of Eve but with an additional surprise as if seeing Ganguly cross on to a double digit score!!) “Imran? Tu yahan??”
Moi: With a sheepish smile (as on the face of a bowler when Ganguly gets a run on his wretched delivery) “Its ok!”. “Where were you (intending this to sting)?”
So, deciding to get out of this hmm.. situation, I try to go to the mess to have my breakfast/lunch. All the humanity in the mess in chorus “Imran!! Tu yahan mess main kaise??”
Moi: (Finally losing my cool disposition on the intellectual depravity of mankind) “STFU!! You lousy double crossing #!@#%$$&# @#^#$ $%#%*^%& #$%@ “. Come back to my room and eventually order from PR as I do usually on a daily basis. Saalon ne aaj bhi mess main khane nahin diya (feeling sad)….

So this chore continues day after day giving me a feeling of "deja-vu" every instant until the next weekend. Then when I return on the Sunday evening. All the activities are refreshed and are repeated again and again with much alacrity.
This is my typical WORKING day in IIIT. For more explanation and reasons for the actual question “Hum ghar kyon jaate hai?? Aur gaye to gaye, waapas kyun aate hai??
”, stay tuned for the next and final episode of “Hum ghar kyon jaate hai?? Aur gaye to gaye, waapas kyun aate hai?? – RELOADED” until then chao.

PS: And if you people have one of those sudden urges to comment on my post saying any of the above standard strings, here’s a finger in advance. If this doesn’t help, then “screw you guys, I am going home!!” ;)

Heart of a Frustoo

These days I seem to be shouting on everybody. The time taken by me to react to any situation no matter how small seems to have put the speed of light to shame.
But there is a valid explanation for all this mess… Try the most famous word trying with “F” in our batch…err… try the second most famous word then… common u dimwits.. I will give the answer… “Frustoo”… sheesh… frustoo kar diya.. saale guess bhi nahin kar sakte! You see, I thought that going out of IIIT will be the most beautiful in my life. I will finally have a LIFE and also WWW associated with it (No… Don’t start guessing what WWW is you nincompoops, it stands for Women Wine and Wealth). Now if any smart guy is smirking at me here, here’s another famous word or for that matter a “symbolic expression” __|_ or oo|o or oo0o…or stfu or FUB!!(with due regards to jaya) ab sochne main kya jaata hai? Jhantu hai kya? Baat samajhme nahin aati hai kya?
So as I was saying there are many frustoos in our batch (phew). So, let us write a critic about this phenomenon which seems to be quite natural to the esteemed gdit2k1…. Don’t you say that you have never been frustoo, because chances are that you are already dead or, you are dead inside you ROBOT!!
Types of frustoos:
1) The justifiable frustoos
2) The Vesuvian frustoos
3) Academic frustoos
4) The gaming society

The Justifiable Frustoo :
Don’t even think about falling into this category. This is only restricted to cool personalities like me who have total control of one’s own action both voluntary and involuntary ;). These people can never be unjustified and their frustoo’pan can always have a good reason which is justifiable to the whole world.
This phenomenon can also be explained when you get some mail from people coming especially from middle part of India viz. Bhopal. There is something to this area and receiving any mail from the people living in it’s vicinity or anyone who has even passed it in their journey well qualify for this weird mailing powers. Sometimes, there are people just aspiring to be like them so, they can be some exceptions to this mid-India theory. So, if you get a mail from these guys and you start biting off your table or thrashing your monitor for being such a harbinger of death, is completely natural and is quite justifiable and understandable.

The Vesuvian Frustoos:
Heard of the famous Mount Vesuvious in Fiji? The mountain which always smokes and erupts destroying humanity as we know of in that area. These people are like the famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci “The Vitruvian Man” (I don’t believe that the similarity in the name is purely coincidental)… these people are truly state of art and real masterpieces.
Don’t be fooled by the momentary cool headedness of this customer. This is just his instable isotope and can come back to his natural state any time.

Statuary Warning: Being in close vicinity to Vesuvian frustoos might be injurious to your health. Run for your life!!

He might be talking quite normally to you for a while. But deep inside, slowly but steadily, heat signatures emanated by him will be growing exponentially. Then, there will be a bright light… burst in the decibel level of the serene environment…. There will be a tear in space time continuum. And you will wake up in some land unknown to the human civilization and your first expression will be “main kaun hoon?”

The Academic Frustoos:
These are the ones whose sole purpose in life is to get an A or any other good alphabet in their ISAS page and to get the Banyan tree award on their convocation. These people will get senti and emotional after an exam or a lab test. These are the people who cry for actually not understanding the professor’s lecture and are found to be very poor in compiling the jokes put by the professor which will look out of the blue for them.
Very unharmful type but I cant say the same about their “irritating” quotient. These are the people to whom many of us are eternally indebted because of their zeal to do each and every crappy assignments. Thank you, you academic frustoos, IIIT is proud of you.

The Gaming Society:
Please observe the absence of the word “frustoos” at the end of this kind. I dont want it to be like a tautology nor do I want to rub it in ;). “The Gaming Society” is frustoo'panti defined and let me add, in no uncertain terms!
The member of this society live for their score and their castle rush time. These people have absolutely no regard for life and death nor for any such consequences. They will ignore it unanimously until the completion of the game.
These people play when they are is a sudden surge of happiness as a mark of celebration. They also play when struck with a calamity as a mark of remorse. These are the people who play before and after doing anything less substantial like writing the end semester exams or attending the classes (which is quite a “once in a lifetime” phenomenon) and the professor can write this achievement of their's in his/her CV.
The biggest mistake that you can do is (no I am not talking about disturbing them when they are playing because it is not a mistake, it is catastrophic) to be in the lab. Chances are you will be the butt of their jokes in their “strategic” chatting or their names ;) (people who played CS yesterday or for that matter q3 will know).
These people are very passionate and of course, if they miss any shot then all hell is set loose. There will be shouting, ranting, fighting and sometimes even disconnecting from the server (which is the biggest sign of contempt)!!


The real beauty of frustoos is, they can stick their head out anywhere and at anytime. It is really this unknown psychology of the frustoos that stands them apart. This is the only breed in IIIT which is evolving very rapidly. So, if tomorrow many more types of frustoos are added to this list of current known types, it will be just mundane to say the least.
So next time you go out of your secure “shell”, watch out for that frustoo who will be striking at an area near you!

Bad, Bad friend... Spit that butt out of your mouth...Bad, Stay.

I might be mighty biased against drinking and smoking cos of the background I come from. No one in my family does that. It is a strict no no. But of late all the people seems to be trying this stuff. Some people stick to using the poor branded ones and some people started adding "active" ingredients into their cigarettes, bidis and cigars for that extra kick (i really dont know why these people have to resort to such lame things for that "kick", i am ready to do that always for them).
My two most closest friends who lost their virginity quite recently were the source of inspiration for this post. At first when i saw them i thought that they too must have drifted with that "Try it in your college" adage or as in the South Park where they say, "There is a right place for everything, and that is college". But found out this very instant that it was more than their initial infatuation. They are doing that with a frequency which might leave all the Devdases run for cover. They say that it doesnt affect them, talk about over confidence or the height of stupidity.
I am stuck in quite an embarassing situation here. You see, I "seem" to be a person whom the parents might usually find prone to all such addictions but in reality i am quite the opposite. I just cant afford to see them doing such stupid things for just the kick or just for the heck of it. Say something strongly and you become a cry baby where as they become the macho men. The problem is not them smoking and drinking as such as the shock of seeing them not able to control themselves.
One person still persists that he doesnt smoke so much but the mere frequency with which he smokes half or two thirds cigarettes is mind boggling. Just saw him "Help" a junior with his cigarette. He seems to be doing it daily but with great alacrity and aplomb.
The second person also boasts that they are drinking for the past 2-3 weeks and that drinks doesnt affect them. They also had a story to boot. I suppose they started for Runway9 (where i might add i havent been till now :(( ) and ended up in the opposite direction. And they still say that it wasnt the booze effect but some navigational error ;).
So, the crux of the matter is, I am caught amongst the ever growing gang of cancer-o-philes and i dont know what to do. It gets quite embarassing when everybody whom you have known for so long take out big cartons of cigarettes and gunnybags of drinks and you are there stuck with the soda or any other softer drink to boot with.
I dont know what but something really saddens and disgusts me here. How can people follow such a crowd. Just because "Everybody is doing it i too have to do it or else i will become a wuss" isnt logically correct, leave out ethically and all crap like that.
I dont want their wives and children to come to me in near future for abode from their now addicted, stoned and drunk husbands and dads. If they have beautiful wives, i might be able to help them but from their sexual orientation, i dont want a bunch of guys coming to me to save them from their errr husband ;).
So, let me draw a conclusion here.... Notice the statuatory warning? It is not meant to be as a challenge or something that you have to do contradictory to. It IS really injurious to your health!!